We got married in 2023 and had the best day of our lives! Our wedding day was on September 16th at the National Mississippi River Museum & Aquarium in Dubuque, Iowa. I'm from Dubuque and that's where Charlie and I met and lived together for a while, so it felt fitting to get married there!
The planning process definitely had its ups and downs, and I'm sure that's the experience of many couples. You have so much to think about, so much to research, so many little details to review, that it can be overwhelming. And don't get me started on all of the trends! It's easy to get caught up in everything you see on social media and feel inadequate if you don't have it all. I'm all about sharing openly and honestly about our experience in the hopes it will help someone else. In that spirit, here are some wedding day planning tips, the things we would 1000% do again!
Staying Together the Night Before
We're starting off controversial! Tradition says the bride and groom shouldn't spend the night together the night before the wedding. However, we've been living together for six years! Not staying together the night before the biggest day of our lives seemed so silly. Personally, I knew I wouldn't sleep well if he wasn't with me. So, we decided to stay together the night before and in the morning we went our separate ways until our first look. It was so nice waking up together and soaking in some final quiet time before the hustle and bustle of the day began. We took this sweet photo too. Would highly recommend!
Having a First Look
For the sake of our nerves and maximizing our time together, I'm so happy we did a first look. We staged this at our Airbnb and it was a completely private moment between the two of us (and our photographers and videographers of course!). I know people go back and forth about this and the big concern is that walking down the aisle won't be as big of a moment if you waited to see each other. That wasn't our experience. We appreciated having our first moment seeing each other be a private one, and Charlie was still emotional seeing me walk down the aisle.
Our Entire Wedding Day Timeline
I wouldn't have changed a thing about our wedding day timeline! I'll break it down for you and then explain why.
12:00 pm - First look and reading of private letters
3:30 pm - Family photos in ceremony space
5:00 pm - Ceremony
5:30 pm - Cocktail hour
6:45 pm - Bride and Groom's grand entrance
6:50 pm - Cake cutting
6:55 pm - First dance
7:00 pm - Welcome speech from Father of the Groom
7:05 pm - Dinner served
7:45 pm - Bride and Groom speech
7:50 pm - Parent dances
8:00 pm - Dancing opens!
12:00 am - Reception ends
It was important for me to have our ceremony later in the day and flow right into our cocktail hour. Thankfully our venue had three separate spaces for our ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception, so this was easy and felt super natural. I also knew I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Charlie, family and guests, so we did all of our formal family photos before the ceremony. I would highly recommend this! I loved that our big moments at the reception - our entrance, cake cutting and first dance - flowed right into the other. We had a completely captive audience! And I was so happy our reception went until midnight. We had so much time for dancing and people were still asking for one more song at the end, which I would say is the best thing we could have asked for.
Attending our Cocktail Hour
This goes hand-in-hand with our timeline. I knew I wanted to attend our cocktail hour and didn't want to be tied up taking pictures during this time. Now, we did take a few photos of the two of us during this time, but that probably took around 15 minutes. The rest of the time we were able to join our guests and begin making the rounds. We didn't get to a ton of people in this time, but it was nice to start making a dent!
Skipping the Bridal Party Entrance and Introductions
You might have noticed in our wedding day timeline that I only noted a Bride and Groom entrance....that's because we skipped the bridal party! I personally just didn't think introducing the bridal party was a good use of time. I think our bridal party members got plenty of recognition by being with us all day, standing up front with us and sitting together at special tables. It's our day, and we just wanted to highlight the two of us in that moment!
Hiring a Videographer
Now, I know we're biased, but we're SO HAPPY we hired a videographer. Being in video production ourselves, we knew going into wedding planning that hiring a videographer would be one of our top priorities. But I didn't realize how critical of a service it is until AFTER going through my own wedding day. I literally don't remember most of what happened that day!! Forget remembering what was said at our ceremony. It was just too much to take in. I am so relieved that we have the ceremony recorded, and so much more. We received a two minute teaser video from our videographers two weeks after our wedding and we'll receive our full wedding day highlight film in 2024. We also opted to pay for all of our raw footage (since we're video people - I don't necessarily think this is a must for everyone to do). I would never skip this essential vendor!
Buying a Simple Dessert
We opted for a two tiered cake for the two of us to cut into. For our guests, we bought cupcakes (three simple flavors) and had those displayed on a dessert table. I'm so happy we didn't spend thousands on a huge cake! Sure, they're beautiful and impressive, but I don't think it's something that would have enhanced our or our guests' experience. Plus, our cupcakes were thoroughly enjoyed by everyone! We only had a few left. Sometimes simple is best!
Here are some bonus, rapid-fire items: Doing a sweetheart table, sitting our bridal party together with their spouses, doing assigned seating, having a close family member officiate our ceremony (Charlie's Uncle Joe did an amazing job!), and having our Polaroid camera on hand!
If you're in the thick of planning, and it's feeling really stressful, just know it's worth it. You'll have an amazing day that you'll remember forever. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true! We were so happy with how our day went and wouldn't change much. Looking back, there are a few things we would have done differently. Tune in to the next blog for those insights! :)
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